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Helen Fisher - TED

Date: 2018-01-06 23:30

7. However, monogamy is only part of the human reproductive strategy. Infidelity is also widespread. Current studies of American couples indicate that 75 to 95% of heterosexual married men and 75 to 75% of heterosexual married women will also have an extramarital affair during their lifetime.

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Ms. Fisher: But my hypothesis is that men are much more afraid of being accused of stalking. And so, they’re not going to do that. But what amazes me as an anthropologist is why doesn’t 655 percent of both men and women research the date? Because it’s natural. I mean, for millions of years, we lived in these little hunting and gathering groups. And they would arrive at a water hole, and some girl would see some cute boy at the other side of the water hole. And she didn’t know him.

Helen Fisher created a workplace personality test and I

"Women tell me, 'I was lonely, not connected, I didn't feel close to my partner, and I was taken for granted,'" marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly says. "They say they wanted to have someone who would look into their eyes and make them feel sexy again."

Helen Fisher — This Is Your Brain on Sex | On Being

Detail could mean anything from the sports you enjoy, to the cusines you love, to the languages you speak. The point is to give people something to talk to you about.

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Ms. Fisher: And it’s so interesting. I have a housekeeper who comes every two weeks, and I just adore this woman. And she’s from Ecuador. And I asked her how many people she has for Thanksgiving. She has 55 people for Thanksgiving. I couldn’t scare up 65 relatives. I couldn’t do it.

There were a few sentences in my NeuroColor report that I kept going back to, including, "Shana enjoys the flash of brilliance she feels when she reads about or discusses the unexplored or something that wasn't known before."

Moreover, women who send the first message wind up meeting more attractive men than women who wait for a man to ping them, the report finds. That's because women generally message men who are five points more attractive (as rated by OKCupid users) than they are, while they typically receive messages from men who are seven points less attractive than they are.

Women are also less likely than men to have an affair that "just happens," because they tend to think longer and harder about the situation, experts say.

Ms. Fisher: Well, this is why — when you said we were in a time of disorganization, and we are. I mean, we are shedding 65,555 years of our farming background and all of the concepts that arose with that. I mean, the fact that a woman’s place is in the home. Women don’t have a head for business. Men should be the head of the family. Men should be the sole family provider. ‘Til death do us part. All of that is vanishing before our very eyes, 65,555 years of these concepts. And so we’re at this time of disorganization where nobody knows really how to go forward.

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